Growing up I never thought I would be a stay-at-home mom. When Kennedy was born on January 24, 2008 Scott and I were still toying with the idea of Kennedy not going to daycare and me not returning to work. When my maternity leave was up 3 months later we had decided that I would indeed be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). I had all these ideas as to what that meant to me.
For almost 3 years I’ve been struggling with the definition of being a SAHM. I thought that our house would be picture perfect and always company ready. There would be homemade dinners every night and wonderful breakfasts in the morning. My “to do” list would be completed at the end of everyday.
When in reality the only “to do” list that I need to be worried about is God’s. Right now the living room is scattered with toys and I’m almost positive that there are dirty clothes to be washed. As I was getting Kennedy ready for nap today it was like God smacked me upside the head, saying “Don’t worry about the clothes, the dishes or the fact that the house isn’t company ready. I have entrusted these little angels to you. They are to come first. Make sure they know how much you love them. Be patient with them, the house will still be here when you are done.” Now when I get up in the morning I'm going to ask God what he wants me to get done that day. What does he want me to accomplish?
I’m not sure why it has taken so long for this to come to me. However, I am so glad that it did. The anxiety is starting to melt away. Of course there will be days where God is going to have to remind me again and again and again. I am no where near where I would like to be but I’m getting there. Only with God by my side will I be the woman of God that he wants me to be.
