The Pacific

Even though Scott and I have never been in the military we love to watch military based films.  Whether they are based on true stories or not or are a documentary it doesn't matter we love to watch them.  Recently HBO came out with a 10 part mini series called The Pacific. It follows 3 Marines during World War 2.  We are hooked.  There is one guy in the mini series they call Sledge.  He is a follower of God and his faith is really being tested has he faces the nightmares of war.  We still have a few more parts to watch so I'm not sure how he makes out in the end but I will let you know.

As we prepare to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ tomorrow please remember those men and women that are serving our country both here at home and over seas.  Please ask God to watch over them, protect them and draw close to them.

Until next time~

Such a long week.

It's been such a long week that I don't even know where to start or what to write about. I've been really trying to make sure that I have some one on one time with God each day.  It's just tough when the girls are up and the chaos they bring makes it hard to concentrate.  With Christmas less than a week away I'm making sure that we keep the reason for the season right in front of us. The girls have seen me volunteering at church.  Mackenzie even helped greet this morning by welcoming those coming into the building.  We are going to make some more goodies for the neighbors while she is on Christmas break from school.  And I think that I am going to make a cake for celebrate the birth of Jesus on Saturday.

Earlier in the week Mackenzie and I had a very nice conversation on the way to school.  She asked me if I knew of anyone that doesn't believe in God.  I told that yes I did. Her Uncle Rob, Aunt Heather and cousin Riley.  Her response - So that means they won't go to heaven when they die.  I let her know that she is correct.  With a confidence in her voice that spoke beyond her years she tells me - Well, I believe in God.  I was so happy to hear her say that my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.  Mackenzie is now at the age where she questions everything.  And I am so happy to be able to have these open conversations with her.

For the past few days I've had this unsettling feeling that God wants me to do something.  I just can't quite put my finger on what it is he needs me for. I think I might know what it is but I'm not sure how to go about making it happen.  As I continue to read The Purpose Driven Life each day clarity hasn't come to me yet.  I know that God will put me where he needs me when he needs me.  So in the meantime I need to make sure my ears are open to hear his whispers.  I'll let you know if God hits me upside the head with the answer. =)

Until next time~

Oh, how I love the Christmas season.

Hi everyone,

Sorry that I haven't written in awhile.  We've been busy getting ready for Christmas.  Last week the girls and I decorated cookies to take to our wonderful neighbors right next door.  They hold a special place in our hearts, especially this time of year.  See, we do not own a snow blower, just a plain ol' snow shovel.  With the winters we have been having the past couple of years we really get a workout shoveling.  When we get a good amount of snow they are always right there snow blowing our driveway before we even think about moving the snow. They don't do it because we ask, they are just great people and do it out of the kindness of their heart.

So the girls and I made them some cookies.  The first night we went to deliver them they weren't home.  Mackenzie was so sad.  She is such a sweet girl and she wanted to thank them for helping us out.  Mackenzie did get to deliver the cookies the next night.  She was so proud of the cookies her and her sister had decorated.  I'm sure that our neighbors will be getting a lot of cookies this snow season.

Yesterday, I made gingerbread men for the first time ever, from scratch.  It was also the first time I actually ate one.  I told Kennedy the night before that we were going to make them.  She was up at 6:30 yesterday morning wanting to make cookies. She had to wait of course.  Kennedy was such a good helper cutting out the cookies and even helped with decorating and clean-up.

All this talk about cookie making reminds me to stop and take in the little things this time of year.  A kind neighbor who helps you out, a grateful child and the wonders God creates.  The snow is falling really hard right now and the city is going to be at a stand still tomorrow. (We are forecasted to get up to 10 inches tonight.)  I hope everyone takes to the time to take in the little things.  God is so amazing and his beauty is all around us we just need to take the time to see it.

Until next time ~

You are not an accident.

While we are in between books for our Life Group I have decided to finally read through the book The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren.  I have started this book a couple times but usually gave up by the 4th of 5th day.  Seeing how the we aren't starting the next book until after the holidays this is a good time to take this 40 day journey.

The topic for the day I just read deals with accepting that I am not an accident.  God designed me the way I am for a specific reason.  This is a hard thing for me to accept.  

There is a poem in this chapter that sums it up nicely.  It is by Russell Kelfer

You are who you are for a reason

You're part of an intricate plan.

You're a precious and perfect unique design,

Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.

Our God make no mistake.

He knit you together within the womb,

You're just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,

And no matter how you may feel,

They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,

And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.

And God wept that it hurt you so;

But it was allowed to shape your heart

So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,

You've been formed by the Master's rod.

You are who you are, beloved,

Because there is a God!

Until next time~

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

I love, love, love the Christmas season.  I've always loved it.  When I was little I was just mesmerized by the Christmas lights and how Santa somehow snuck into our house on Christmas Eve and put our presents under the tree.  I remember going to a Christmas service at the church my dad was a part of.  The wonder of us all coming together to celebrate God given us his only son.

Now that I have children of my own I want them to also feel the wonder and amazement of the Christmas season.  I don't want them to grow up to only remember the presents that Santa brought them.  I hope that they remember the warm feeling they get when we pick out gifts to give to our loved ones.  The sense of joy as we bake cookies to give to our neighbors.  But most importantly I want them to remember why we celebrate Christmas.  We are celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, God's only son.  Who came so that we could be forgiven.

Today we picked out our Christmas tree.  We bundled the girls up and loaded them into the car.  As we were driving to tree farm Scott and I were discussing some of the Christmas plans.  When we got to the farm we began our search for the perfect tree for our living room.  Kennedy would of been content with a short little tree,  in fact, it's really what she wanted.  It didn't take us long to find the tree for this year.  We cut it down, dragged it to the car, actually Scott dragged it to the car.  Scott strapped it to our little red Alero and we drove home.  I dug out our decorations for the tree and we began to turn the pine tree into our 2010 Christmas tree.  I love decorating the tree.  Reliving the memories and significance of each ornament is one of my favorite parts.  Tonight after the girls go to bed Scott and I are going to sit back, enjoy a nice drink and just be together.  Here's to a great Holiday season.

Until next time ~

Whew, so glad that I did.

Yesterday Scott and I spent all day getting ready for a very much anticipated Thanksgiving dinner with Scott's family.  There would be 11 total people around the table to share a wonderful meal.  Those coming included Scott's father, Randy, Scott's brothers, Justin, Nico and Christian, Nico's girlfriend Jess, Scott's Grandma Mary and Scott's Uncle Doug.  Scott spent the day cooking and preparing the food while I cleaned up the house and tended to the Kennedy and Lexi. (Mackenzie was spending Thanksgiving with her dad.)

The week before I kept seeing a lot of Thanksgiving related TV shows where someone would say a prayer out loud before the meal.  I just knew in my heart that this is something that I wanted to do before we all shared our meal.  I brought the idea up to Scott and he said "That's fine, as long as you say it."  I wasn't surprised by his answer at all.  All day Wednesday into Thursday I prayed about it.  Asking God to not let me chicken out and give me the right words to say. See, I've never said a prayer out loud in front of anyone before.  And here I was going to do it for the first time in front of Scott's family.  I know that most of them are believers.  But it's been a hard year for some of the others since Harla past away.  Their faith has been shaken severely and I think they may have given up hope that God still cares about them.

As dinner was close to being done and ready to be enjoyed my nerves started to get to me.  But I kept hearing God telling me to do it. The world needs more prayer. I knew what I wanted to say, I had been rehearsing it all day. Right as dinner was coming out of the oven I called everyone into the living room.  No one but Scott and I knew what was going to happen.  They were quite surprised when I said that we were going to pray before we eat.  (We had never done that before at a family gathering.)  It was short prayer, I said how we were thankful for the opportunity for us all to be together to share a wonderful meal.  That it's been a hard year as we were missing Harla but we knew that she was with us in spirit.  It's been a great fall as Scott's brother Justin is back in our lives.  I ended by saying that we were thankful for all that God is going to provide for us in the future.

Last night after everyone left and Scott and I reflected on the day he said that what I had said was very touching.  He even noticed that some of his family had gotten teary eyed. Whew, I did it.  You know what, when I finished a huge sense of peace came over me.  God lead me through it and I can't wait for the next time I get to say a prayer out loud again.

Until next time ~Anita

Transformation in progress.

Last week the ladies and I in our Friday morning Life Group finish the book The Miracle of Life Change by Chip Ingram.  It was a very good book.  I was challenged to think about things that don't normally cross my mind.  My relationship with God is definitely different, in a good way.

Like most followers of Christ I have my good days and my bad days.  I have days where I feel really close to God and days where I feel so far away I'm not sure how I'll ever get back.  I'm still amazed that no matter how many times I blow it God also takes me back, He longs for me to come back to Him.  To find comfort in his arms.

I still get distracted by the "got to do this" and "have to do that".  One thing that has helped me to keep things in the right order; God first then everything else, is by staying involved in the Life Group at church.  The ladies in my Friday morning group are truly amazing.  I've made friends and found mentors.  I am developing authentic relationships.  I know that I can share with these ladies what is inside my heart and I trust that they will not judge me.  They are there to listen, offer advice and help me to listen to God and hear His whispers.  

I know that I am still a work in progress.  But I also know this; God is always here to help me and guide me along the way.

Until next time ~ Anita

The Lord had great plans for Greta.

Today my friend Greta got on a plane to go to Ethiopia.  Yup, you read that right, Ethiopia.  She is part of group of 18 people traveling with Children's Hopechest.  I can't even find the words to tell you about her trip so please take a look at her blog: Give me your eyes.

Greta, we miss you already and can't wait to hear about your trip!

I hope I would do the right thing.

Tonight after the girls were in bed I was watching one of my favorite shows on ABC called What Would You Do?  I love watching this show.  Just seeing all the folks stand up for what they believe in and doing the right thing is moving.  At the time of the situation the folks don't know that everyone involved are actors.  But before the person leaves the host steps in and lets them know that it isn't real.

I always hope that if I saw something going wrong that God would give me enough courage to stand up for someone in need.  Life is scary and unpredictable, you never know how someone is going to react. I hope that God would tell me what to do and how to do it.  I just hope that I'm listening when he tells me. 

I know that God uses us all in ways that are part of His big plan.  He puts in certain places for a reason.  Make sure you are paying attention.

So my question for you is - Do you know what you would do?

Until next time ~ Anita

Who’s “To do” list are you working off of?

Growing up I never thought I would be a stay-at-home mom.  When Kennedy was born on January 24, 2008 Scott and I were still toying with the idea of Kennedy not going to daycare and me not returning to work.  When my maternity leave was up 3 months later we had decided that I would indeed be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM).  I had all these ideas as to what that meant to me.

For almost 3 years I’ve been struggling with the definition of being a SAHM.  I thought that our house would be picture perfect and always company ready.  There would be homemade dinners every night  and wonderful breakfasts in the morning.  My “to do” list would be completed at the end of everyday.

When in reality the only “to do” list that I need to be worried about is God’s.  Right now the living room is scattered with toys and I’m almost positive that there are dirty clothes to be washed.  As I was getting Kennedy ready for nap today it was like God smacked me upside the head, saying “Don’t worry about the clothes, the dishes or the fact that the house isn’t company ready.  I have entrusted these little angels to you.  They are to come first.  Make sure they know how much you love them.  Be patient with them, the house will still be here when you are done.”  Now when I get up in the morning I'm going to ask God what he wants me to get done that day.  What does he want me to accomplish?

I’m not sure why it has taken so long for this to come to me.  However, I am so glad that it did.  The anxiety is starting to melt away.  Of course there will be days where God is going to have to remind me again and again and again.  I am no where near where I would like to be but I’m getting there. Only with God by my side will I be the woman of God that he wants me to be.

Until next time~ Anita

Doctor, doctor give me the news...

Wow, have we been to the doctor's office a lot lately. On the 14th Mackenzie had her check-up and hearing test after having tubes put in her ears a month earlier. All is well with her ears. She still has a 30-60% hearing loss in her right ear. Even with the hearing loss she is doing well in Kindergarten. The doctor wants to us to get her a hearing aid, but we opted to wait and see how she continues to do in school.

On the 18th Lexi had her 1 year check-up. She is getting so big. Lexi now weighs 18 pounds and is 29 inches long. She is perfectly healthy and growing like she should. Lexi may be petite but it fits her giggly personality just perfect.

The next night (the 19th) I took Kennedy into Urgent Care because she was complaining of bad ear pain. You guessed it, she had an ear infection. She is feeling much better now.

Two night ago I took Lexi and myself into Urgent Care as well. I had a sore throat for 2 days and was really tired and achy all over. Lexi had spiked a fever of 101.8 that afternoon so I feared she was getting a sore throat too. Come to find out I have strep throat and Lexi has a double ear infection. After a few days of antibiotics the girls in the house are all feeling better.

The house is in shambles and needs a good cleaning. But my energy level is slowly returning to normal so I will get the house back in order this weekend.

Halloween is on Sunday and the girls are excited to go trick or treating and to the church party. So we all need to be in good health.

Until next time~ Anita

Harla, we miss you!

The first time I met my husband's mom, Harla Kwallek, was Easter 2006. I was really nervous about meeting the mother of the love of my life. When in reality I think she was more nervous about meeting me. Harla readily accepted me and my daughter Mackenzie into her family. She loved Mackenzie tremendously and fell into the role of her grandma easily. Fast forward to my bridal shower. Harla gave me an awesome baking cookbook and a card that said she had been praying that someone like me would come into Scott's life. The day Scott and I got married I could see the happiness just beaming off her face.

A few months later we announced that we would be parents again in January 2008. The night Kennedy was born Harla, Randy and Christian drove an hour to the hospital to be one of the first to meet her. Harla always lit up when she got the chance to see her grandkids. She spoiled them rotten and usually gave them what they wanted. She loved her granddaughters with her whole heart.

For my birthday in 2009 Harla gave me a gift certificate for a cake decorating class and some supplies to get me started. I didn't get to take my class until August of 2009. At this time I was pregnant again with our 3rd daughter and I loved being able to get out of the house for the hour a week. When Harla gave me my birthday gift that year it was like she had known me my whole life and knew that I would fall in love with cake decorating. She was right!! I loved it and became instantly hooked. Harla and I finally had a hobby to talk about.

The month of September was a very hard month for Harla as she struggled with the breast cancer she had been fighting for 3 years. I was nearing the end of my pregnancy with Alexis Grace (Lexi Lu) and Harla kept telling me that Lexi wasn't going to come until she (Harla) was strong enough to meet her. I believe she was right. Lexi was born on October 9th and she met her a week and a half later.

This last part is tough for me. I type this with tears in my eyes. Harla was in the hospital in Dubuque, IA and we drove down with Kennedy and Lexi to see her. I'm not sure how long we were there for but I know it wasn't long enough. The whole time Harla laid in her bed and held little Lexi while she slept. The nurses were so very happy that Harla and Lexi got to meet. We talked for awhile then Kennedy decided that Grandma needed some chips. It was so unbelievably cute as Kennedy was feeding Harla. As the time wore on Kennedy became increasingly bored and ready to go home. I left some recent pictures of her granddaughters with her as we packed up to drive back to Madison. My only regret is that I didn't give her one last hug before leaving. My arms were full of baby stuff and I thought I would see her again.

On October 25th 2009 Harla went home to be with God. It was a cold dreary day much like today. We are told that she is glad she was able to meet Lexi before passing. We are also told that she was hanging onto the pictures I gave her as she took her last breath. Words can't even describe the pain we felt in the coming days leading up to the funeral. It took me awhile to process it all. Between taking care of a newborn and 20 month old I was exhausted and hormonal. At the funeral they played a song called "I can only imagine" by MercyMe. It was at that moment that I let all my grief out that had been building up over the last week.

Harla, you were an amazing woman, mother, and grandma. We will forever miss you and never stop loving you.

I thought it was suppose to get easier

Growing up I was always under the assumption that having babies was hard and that it gets easier as they get older. Boy was I wrong. The older our girls become the harder and more difficult our life seems to get. We love our 3 girls more than life itself but wow, some days I really need a drink at 4 o'clock. No one ever told me that being a mom would be such a challenge.

I'm currently reading 2 books trying to better figure out how to get a grip on the dynamic of our house. The first one I'm reading is The New Birth Order Book by Kevin Leman. I think I've discovered more about myself reading this book then my kids. While the girls are still to young to know if they will fall under the typical birth order it's nice to know what to look for.

The other book I'm reading is The No-Cry Discipline Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Since I started reading this book I have felt a sense of calmness come over me. I know that I am a long ways off from where I want to be but it's a start. Here are some reminders from the first section that I read;

• First: Solve the real problem: Tired? Hungry? Frustrated? Bored? Overstimulated? Scared? Confused?
• Be consistent.
• Offer a choice.
• Play a cooperation game.
• Make it talk.
• Engage the imagination.
• Sing a song.
• Tell a story.
• Be silly.
• Use 5-3-1 Go! (Give fair warning.)
• Have an eye-to-eye discussion.
• Use positive words. (Avoid no, don't, stop.)
• Use when/then, now/later, you may/after you.
• Distract and redirect.
• Use family rules.
• Make it brief, make it clear.
• Think it, say it, mean it, do it.
• Follow daily routines.
• Use happy face cards.
• Use a time-out to interrupt misbehavior and calm emotions.
• Be firm-it's OK.
• Be flexible. Don't fret. Pick your battles.
• Give compliments, encouragement, and kind words.
• Build a foundation of love, trust and respect.

Until next time ~ Anita

Cupcakes make a good breakfast.

I love fall! The cool, crisp weather. The beauty of the fall colors that only God can create. And of course fall baking!

Yesterday I made 2 loaves of banana walnut chocolate chip bread and 2 dozen black bottom cupcakes. (I had planned to make snickerdoodle cookies, but never got to them.) I love the satisfaction of putting all the ingredients together, sticking them in the oven and poof a few minutes to an hour later out come wonderful treats. The house fills with such appetizing smells and the warmth of the oven feels so cozy.

I was up really early for Life Group today so I did feel like it wasn't to big of a deal to eat a cupcake when I got home. Besides, I did have some banana bread for breakfast.

Until next time ~ Anita

5:45 a.m. may be to early for some.

However, for me it's the perfect time to drive to Dodgeville to meet with the ladies in the Life Group at Hidden Valley Community Church. We are currently reading The Miracle of Life Change by Chip Ingram. This book is awesome!

The changes I am experiencing in myself are just astonishing. I can feel myself drawing closer to God in all aspects of my life. I am learning to trust him more and go to him first when I am having a problem. I am no way close to the spiritually mature person that I long to be but I'm getting there. God has done so many great things in my life and I'm remembering that only he can provide for us the things we need.

And I can't say enough about the wonderful ladies in my group. They come from all sorts of backgrounds and are in different places on their walk with God. Just listening to the stories of these women is an encouragement to me. I have always longed for a group and a church where I can truly be myself and not worry about being judged. They accept me for who I am and it is such a relief. This is the place for me. Hearing the honesty from these women and seeing them being authentic with each other is fascinating to me. We grow up in a world that tells us to be guarded all the time. To not trust anyone and to only think about ourselves. That leads to a very lonely life of unfulfilled relationships. The friendships I am forming in these Life Groups is truly a work of God.

Until next time ~ Anita

Not sure where to start

I got the idea to start a blog from a classmate from high school, Thanks Jen. Go Dodgers! After the stressful day I had today it seemed like the best thing to do to relax.

As the title states. I'm not sure where to start. I have so many thoughts running through my head that I'm afraid it will spin off into space any second now. Sooo, I'll start with the day I had today. I could just tell before getting out of bed that it wasn't going to be a good day. Kennedy (2 1/2) was up earlier than usual and I didn't really sleep well the night before. I had to drag myself out of bed and get Mackenzie ready and off to Kindergarten. The rest of the day was pretty normal; dishes, diaper changes and laundry.

I did get a chance to get outside and start raking up the leaves in the front yard. The air was so crisp and cool that I shuddered a little as Kennedy and I stepped out the door. I knew that I had at least an hour to rake as Lexi (1) was down for her first nap of the day. It was nice to get some fresh air and the exercise of raking was a good energy boost. Kennedy was content with scooting her ride on toy up and down the sidewalk while I raked the leaves to the curb.

The rest of the day....wasn't so nice. The girls started to get whiny, clingy and crabby. By God's grace and his alone I was able to get through the day. I'm not sure why but today was just one of those days where everything seemed to go wrong and the girls needed me every time I turned around.

Until next time ~~ Anita